"It's true what they say, it does get better, but you have to make it get better or at least start believing in yourself. I'm sure I'll listen to myself soon and start doing that." Feb-27th-2015... still waiting...
I want to change my life for the better, but how do you go about fixing every part of your existence since birth? It really doesn't seem as easy as I think it could be.
Ice cream helps in times like this. It helps to not feel like I'm going to break down crying every second of the day, but that's all temporary and I am trying to not eat so much sugar.
So how to you help yourself in fixing your life when the things I know how to do are what you should not do?
I'll let you know when I'll figure that part out.
I'll talk to you soon.
-K
My thoughts, feelings, opinions and thingy things coming out of my head. Writing maybe weekly, maybe daily. Definitely every couple days when I'll get a chance.
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Saturday, 30 May 2015
Friday, 15 May 2015
May 5th, 2015
I was helping my mum move house over the Easter break. It took a whole month for the phone company to send someone out to connect the phone line and two weeks on top of that for the internet to be connected. Apart from that I got really lazy... so here are all of the entries I wrote since the last post.
14/01/2015
The electrician came to the house today to fix something with the fuse line. Because the internet didn't work properly or something other. He had to turn off our modem and I only lasted 5 minutes before I was bored out of my mind... I really have a problem when it comes to the internet.
12/04/2015
No I do not have a problem with the internet I've been here a week and didn't really need it at all!
09/04/2015
It's crazy how some of your most favorite things can so easily become some of the most dreaded things to do.
Having something specific for dinner, brushing my teeth, picking a movie to watch or watching some tv shows, seeing the sun set, debating whether the full moon is out or not yet, holding hands, standing close to people, listening to music; that's one of the worst ones.
That's just some of them but I'm sure there's more.
It's just been quite annoying.
Not being able to be in particular places. Or...! Even tearing up in the middle of B&Q when seeing roles of wallpaper...
10/04/2015
Tomorrow is my birthday, and for once in my life I really don't mind. Usually I celebrate it from the second I wake up to the last possible second in the day. But tomorrow really feels like just another day.
I guess it doesn't feel any bit special if there's no special person to celebrate it with.
11/04/2015
...Happy Birthday to me...
I don't really see why I should settle for anything less than I know I deserve. I know what I want and there will be no stopping me from getting it.
There will be no going out with assholes! Not even giving them the time of day! No apologising for what I believe and do mean to say. If you don't like it then you can shove it.
15/04/2015
What happened to me..? I used to be so happy and carefree.
I was looking over my old bebo pictures cause I got a way of downloading them off the app/website and they show everything I want to be like, but it's as if I forgot how to be that.
27/04/2015
If I let Myself Care, All I'll feel Is Pain. I have to cut him out of my life and not let him control me and take a vantage of me. If he wants to be a kid and change all of our plans from now on just because I won't sleep with him anymore then be it. I don't need him. Even if it might seems like sometimes I do, he always proves to me that I do not, at all, not even one bit!
30/04/2015Everyone starts out thinking "this is forever" but then things get hard. I need to try some other version of myself. I'll never get to where we were, some place good.
05/05/2015 ForeverNon of us can make it through this life without suffering some kind of pain. Having lived through my fair share I can tell you the most difficult to endure is loneliness.Life is a game and one that we must play. No matter how careful we are there is simply no way to go through this life escalated. But fortunately for us it's a game we don't have to play alone.
09/05/2015 Here is the annoying thing about being a hopeless romantic. You get your moment, you get your epic love story and then it ends, with no happy ending. And as fast as it came it's gone.
I'll talk to you soon
-K
The electrician came to the house today to fix something with the fuse line. Because the internet didn't work properly or something other. He had to turn off our modem and I only lasted 5 minutes before I was bored out of my mind... I really have a problem when it comes to the internet.
12/04/2015
No I do not have a problem with the internet I've been here a week and didn't really need it at all!
09/04/2015
It's crazy how some of your most favorite things can so easily become some of the most dreaded things to do.
Having something specific for dinner, brushing my teeth, picking a movie to watch or watching some tv shows, seeing the sun set, debating whether the full moon is out or not yet, holding hands, standing close to people, listening to music; that's one of the worst ones.
That's just some of them but I'm sure there's more.
It's just been quite annoying.
Not being able to be in particular places. Or...! Even tearing up in the middle of B&Q when seeing roles of wallpaper...
10/04/2015
Tomorrow is my birthday, and for once in my life I really don't mind. Usually I celebrate it from the second I wake up to the last possible second in the day. But tomorrow really feels like just another day.
I guess it doesn't feel any bit special if there's no special person to celebrate it with.
11/04/2015
...Happy Birthday to me...
I don't really see why I should settle for anything less than I know I deserve. I know what I want and there will be no stopping me from getting it.
There will be no going out with assholes! Not even giving them the time of day! No apologising for what I believe and do mean to say. If you don't like it then you can shove it.
15/04/2015
What happened to me..? I used to be so happy and carefree.
I was looking over my old bebo pictures cause I got a way of downloading them off the app/website and they show everything I want to be like, but it's as if I forgot how to be that.
27/04/2015
If I let Myself Care, All I'll feel Is Pain. I have to cut him out of my life and not let him control me and take a vantage of me. If he wants to be a kid and change all of our plans from now on just because I won't sleep with him anymore then be it. I don't need him. Even if it might seems like sometimes I do, he always proves to me that I do not, at all, not even one bit!
30/04/2015Everyone starts out thinking "this is forever" but then things get hard. I need to try some other version of myself. I'll never get to where we were, some place good.
05/05/2015 ForeverNon of us can make it through this life without suffering some kind of pain. Having lived through my fair share I can tell you the most difficult to endure is loneliness.Life is a game and one that we must play. No matter how careful we are there is simply no way to go through this life escalated. But fortunately for us it's a game we don't have to play alone.
09/05/2015 Here is the annoying thing about being a hopeless romantic. You get your moment, you get your epic love story and then it ends, with no happy ending. And as fast as it came it's gone.
I'll talk to you soon
-K