So...
My first blog of 2017 and I'm writing it half way through spring. It's been one heck of a start .
I feel like I'm always using being busy as an excuse for why I'm not writing but this time for once it's true. Back in college when I was too depressed to leave my bed for days and had plenty of time to write but I rather have stared at my laptop screen for hours and then spend the rest of my time just sleeping. To ever feel like that again is petrifying.
But while lying there all I thought was "this can't last forever".
Don't think he realises that when I say "you're all I ever wanted" I say it with every ounce of my being. Any place I ever lived in I felt out of place. Like I was there but I didn't belong. Like the people around me just seen me as a body and not a human. I may have my flaws but he loves me anyway, which I could not be more great-full for. Every morning since I've known him I look at his handsome face and count myself so lucky to be with him. To be able to call him mine.
I acted so over the top because to me it was real. What felt like my heart being torn out of my chest went from relaxing at home to slamming the door and walking out never to be seen again.