December 24th, 2014

2013 started off great. The second week in everything went south from there till June.
Had an amazing summer, got back home and then the rest of the year just kept on getting worse and worse.
2014 started off okay but by February everything was great and I've never been happier.
By June I was back home again and things stayed good, until October when my world tumbled beneath my feet.
Now we're getting closer to the end of the year... So... New Year predictions...
Gonna start the year off happy, motivated and determined...
Then loose all faith in humanity by the first week of February or maybe the second week and from there till June constantly pick myself back up...
Summer is going to be full of surprises good and bad but all in all it's going to be a good 3 months.
In September either get into 3rd year and try doing my best in college or not get in and look for a job and try and figure this whole life thing all over again...
By December next year I'm probably going to be sitting here in my mums house in my old room predicting whats going to happen in 2016 and just hope for the best, just like I am right now.
Happy Holidays. <3
I'll talk to you soon.
-K

December 12th, 2014

It's so much better doing things together.
Whether it's cleaning the dishes, making the bed, eating dinner, being sexual or just simply sitting on the couch relaxing. It's better to have a partner in crime.
But getting used to your own company 24/7 is bit of an adjustment.
I'll talk to you soon
-K

December 9th, 2014

Well this is officially the strangest thing that has ever happened.
I have not one voice in my head screaming at me right now but 6. Don't know how but I do.
It came out of nowhere. I'm lying in bed right now and it's making me feel a bit sick.
I guess it must be a panic attack but on steroids. Though I'm sitting here calmly it feels like I'm not in control of myself, of it all my mind and body. It's taking so much effort right now to sit still while having these weird twitches that feel like are not made by me.
I'm officially gone off the walls and I'm really scaring myself. I'm really quickly becoming a complete stranger to myself.
March 11th, 2014 I said "if it wasn't for him I'd be a goner" and I really meant it. But now everything has changed. I really want to hate him but I'm way to deep in love with him for that. I just mainly hate myself for trusting him so much and letting myself fall so deeply for him, when really I was just some pass time for him.
I'll talk to you soon.
-K

November 30th, 2014

Yesterday was definitely an interesting day. But it did make me realise that I don't need anybody.
It's best to be alone than with people who will just waste your time, use you and not got even give it two minutes thought.
I'll talk to you soon.
-K

November 29th, 2014

I'm not lonely. I'm just alone at the moment. Why does everyone think I need help and company at all times? It's nice that people care but give me some room to breath please. I'm ok, really, I'm ok.
I'll update you when I'll get back. We'll see how the night goes.
I'll talk to you soon.
-K

November 17th, 2014

It's been a while.
A lot has changed since I wrote here last and non of it for the better, it actually seems like it's just getting worse and worse.
Never knew that respecting someone's personal space could be so hard. But it's teaching me to enjoy my own company, which I'm finding great at the moment. It really showed be that I am fun to be around. Even if the only person that'll see it is myself.
That's it. Nothing else good to say...
I'll see you soon.
-K.

July 19th, 2014

Teskne za toba babciu.
I really don't know where it all went wrong...
I thought that last year I hit the bottom when I nearly gave myself a concussion and constantly been fighting with myself to not harm. But who knew that I'd be so stupid and nearly get arrested.
This time around I'm not going to go back to my usual stuff. I'm stronger than that now. I can cop with it.
Gonna try and get help.
I'll talk to you soon
-K

July 7th, 2014

So things are a little better today, which makes me a little hopeful.
I got out of bed not too late in the day to still get some things done.
I answered a phone call from a complete stranger who dialed the wrong number. I talked to my mum on the phone couple of times which I usually ignore cause I'm too afraid to answer and just lie that I was busy.
AND I also called a company to ask about a car test that I need to go do tomorrow, which I'm sort of excited about!
Although it's already nearly 5pm and I haven't left the house yet. I am confident that tomorrow I'm going to make even better progress.
I'll talk to you soon
- K

June 25th, 2014

Relationships are so damn hard.
No matter how much you might love a person, they don't always love you back as much as you would want them to. "I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once", but did he...? 

I have so many thoughts running through my mind, but the one person I want to share them with is the one person they're about. So I guess this is why I started writing. To just let it out. But I still feel like I need some advise or someone to tell me what they think, for me to get some perspective about things.
I know heart ace is a temporary thing. That does not mean it doesn't hurt like hell when you're in the moment when it does.
I've been through some strange, weird, sweet, exciting and wonderful relationships in my life so far and with this one I though things were going to be different. In an 'Evernote' post on the 18th of June I wrote "You're it for me" and genuinely meant it. Thank God I never said any of the things I was planning to say to you before I left your house before the big move. Because they never are different.. are they...?
I'll talk to you soon
-K

June 22nd, 2014

So this originally was supposed to be posted on May 14th, 2014, but it was just a blank... What an exciting life I lead...

I hate this.
Not being able to plan anything, not knowing what I'm going to be doing, where I'm going to live and what I'm going to be doing...
I just want some stability. Is that so much to ask for?....
It'd be helpful to have someone to talk to about this. But have you ever felt alone in a crowd of people, cause that's exactly how I feel all the time.
I'll talk to you soon
-K

March 11th, 2014

How can someone be so miserable and so happy at the same time?!
I have the greatest family who love me no matter what, the most amazing boyfriend and the most kindest friends. But things have taken a turn for the worst and I don't know how to stop it.
Since the start of 2013 I have been battling with depression. When I went over to visit my sister in the summer of 2013 I was the happiest I have ever been,which led me to believe I was cured. To my surprise I wasn't. I came back to Ireland when summer came to an end and so did my happiness. I felt more miserable more angry and more depressed than I ever thought possible. To put it shortly things turned to capital 's' S***!
If it wasn't for him giving me a reason to go on, I'd probably be a goner.
So much for trying to be a more positive person.
I'll talk to you soon
-K

January 25, 2014

First post of 2014 and we're already 25 days in.
I don't think I'll ever get better at posting more regularly.
I'm happy when I'm over here but why is it that no matter how much I try to make future plans, it just doesn't work out. As if the universe is telling me to just give up already.
I want to believe that all of the things that have happened before, happened for a reason of me being here right now... but I wish they never have.
I'm trying to be more of a positive person because the world is a great place to be and life is wonderful, but I keep on catching myself being a pessimist most of the time.
Maybe not every day will be a 'Three Days Grace' song.
I'll talk to you soon
-K