I just woke up, with this clarity running through my head about my depression.
And all at once I felt like I could understand everything that was wrong.
It was a weird feeling that I have never felt before.
I thought, how easy it would have been just to get up and start my day, like I just did. No hesitation, no struggle just turned off the alarm and out of bed I get.
October had a hard two weekends for me, but nothing really hit me until after Christmas.
January came and I was a mess.
I think I only lasted a week of motivation for the year that New Years resolutions create for people.
Everything after that just felt like train-wreck.
I got medication, counselling, met with a psychiatrist nurse on a somewhat regular bases and a doctor, and did all of that at once. It really did help. Still am on the medication everyday twice a day but without it some days would have been impossible to get through.
It really is up to the person that's trying to get better to really get better. It takes time, patience and a lot of hard work but it is possible, well, until the next time something bad happens and I spiral out of control.
At least for now I'm content.
Things now can only get better because I already have felt what it's like to hit rock-bottom.
"Only in a true life-and-death scenario can you have mental clearness to know that you cannot feel guilty for surviving," - Quote.
I'll talk to you soon.
-K
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