This sucks... Three months later and it's still hard to not think about it every day. The daily reminders are the worst. Can't go to certain places, can't listen nor watch certain things. It made some of my favorite things become the ones I avoid the most, because they were once your favorite too. I'm lucky in a way that I moved away, cause I can't even imagine dealing with it while still living in the same place where we once fell in love. I feel bad for you a little, because you have to stay in a place I helped you to move into and that's not the only one.
It would be so much easier if there was a clear line drawn in the sand so I'd know where we stand. But you choose to not do that and continuously mess with my mind. It's a very selfish thing to do and you do not have my best interest at heart. You can't have it both ways.
I know I put on a smile when we were talking but trust me that was just to make you feel better. I was in such denial about what has happened that I didn't react for about a month. No tear, no laughter, no emotion what so ever, I felt dead. It took me another 2 weeks to even get out of the house.
But when it finally hit me I competently lost it.
Lost my sanity, lost all purpose, lost all my passions. I guess my main drive in life was you... and the plans I had for us.
I'll talk to you soon
-K
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