August 6th, 2025

With all the dog movies out there like Lassie, Haticho, Arthur, Betowen, Red, Ruby, Bella, Rex, Max and many many more... "Finley, the greatest dog to ever live" will be up there with them one day. 

Enough said. 

- I'll talk to you soon.

-K.

July 19th, 2025

When someone can give you a really tight hug or stand there breathing with you for few seconds can ground you back into reality so quickly. How are you expected to do that when you're completly on your own. Bring yourself back when you're already as deep as the hold can get. You want to be productive but paralised by anxiety, you know you're wasting time resting to make yourself feel better but riddled with guilt because your wasting time and not doing all the things you need to get done. It's such a vicious circle you can't stop from spinning. 

I'll talk to you soon.

-K

July 15th, 2025

Life went from being so happy and exciting, so fast paced, to minutes dragging and days feeling like weeks. In a space of an hour I can go through all 22 emotions on the emotional scale and minute to minute not know what I'm doing next or even better forget what I was doing 5 seconds ago. I do accept that this is my life and this is just a part of my every day but damn is it annoying. Sat here feeling good as I managed to get out of bed before 12pm and actually done something productive with my day, not wanting to eat after cooking for over an hour because now I don't feel like it but still being absolutely starving as I forgot to eat all day. I'd really like to get off this rollercoaster now please. 

I'll talk to you later. 

-K

July 7th, 2025

It's been a while... again...

The longest year of my life and may be the hardest one yet, but I think I have been the most equipped to deal with it comparing to all of the others. 

I'm finally coming out the other side of a long depressive few weeks but still yet to find the strength to shower and wash off all this rage. It has felt like I well into a black hole with no end in sight. Thankfully after years of trauma I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel and all you need to do is to push through and you'll get there. 

Minutes feel like hours, hours feel like days, days feel like weeks and weeks feel like months. 

I don't know if this will ever get easier to handle but at least I know I eventually can get through it. Might not be as fast as I want it to be but progress takes time and time requires patience. 

I'll talk to you soon.

-K

October 2nd, 2024

I release all control and accept what the universe has to offer. It has been a very long road getting here but I can truly say I'm at peace. 

I am sorry for all the mistakes I have made over the years but it has all been a lesson learnt. It's been hard and at time incredibly difficult to carry on but I'm still here breathing, like my tattoo says. Any attempts I have made to shorten my life have not been successful and clearly for a good reason and now I understand why. 

There is a purpose to everything, whether we know it or not. 

All my numerous blogs are public with the hope of helping even just one person not to feel alone as I have when going through the hard times. And hopefully by reading someone can see that eventually it does get better. This doesn't mean it's easy, because even on a good day I do get my moments of doubt and self shame but as long as you push through and carry on for just one more day that is all that matters. 

You matter! Just remember that!

I'll talk to you soon.

-K

Xox

July 10th/9th 2024

Nothing matters life is shit. 

Just go die

-K

June 10th 2024 - Monday 22:41.

Before I let go

I want you to know that every moment spent with you was a treasure that I held close to my heart. 

I thought you were the answer to the quiet prayers of my soul, the melody to the song my heart has been singing silently. I thought you were the light in my darkest days. A reason for the small smiles that sometimes graces my life. 

I never knew how heavy silence could feel until I faced it without you and now every day stretches on shaded with the height of missing what was never mine.

The dreams I built around us crumble a little more with each passing day whispering what could have been. My heart feels so tender, so bruised with the realisation that some paths are meant to be walked alone. 

As I set back now, I carry the bitter sweet memories that will never grow old. Even as they fade into the quiet background of my life.

Philosophy verses - FB

And that's it, de-end. 

FIN 

Always and Forever xox <3

-Karina.